So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
