I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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