What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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