My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
