i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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