i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize