ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
