I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
