How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
