I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
