She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
