Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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