Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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