We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
