marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
