had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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