If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
