There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize