Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
