so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
