just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
