Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize