Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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