The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Someone shit on the floor
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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