I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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