My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
