my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
