haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
