I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
