Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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