Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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