Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
