I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he thought i was a dude.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize