But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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