This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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