i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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