Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
