I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
