Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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