so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
