so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
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