that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
