Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
