He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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