Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
