you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
