Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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