Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
