dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
