every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
