my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Farmville is her only friend.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
