Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
