You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
