his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize