Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
