so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
