So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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