This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
