some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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