Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
