i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
