I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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