pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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