her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
false alarm. still invincible.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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