How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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