You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
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