you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
