Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
