just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
