She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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