he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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