Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
